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SPALDING Gray's heartsick family is fuming at the New York Times for what they consider the paper's insensitivity regarding the disappearance of the actor/monologist who created "Swimming to Cambodia" and "Monster in a Box."<br /> <font size="2" face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular" color="#9c0031">Plus items on <a href="http://www.nypost.com/seven/01142004/gossip/44842.htm" target="_blank">Jane Krakows…