84 stories by "Trish Bendix"
"The Daily Show" host quipped that after a surprise capture, Nicolás Maduro "will face justice in the best legal system in the world that we illegally kidnapped him to."
"The Late Show" host said the president couldn't possibly run two nations, because "he can't even run."
Jimmy Kimmel called the president's last-minute speech "a surprise prime-time episode of 'The Worst Wing' tonight on every channel."
Ronny Chieng dissed new fitness plans from the Trump administration for travelers in American airports: "We can't even walk to the gate. They had to invent floors that walk for us."
"Call me a boomer, but these participation trophies have gone too far," Stephen Colbert said before presenting himself with the First Annual Stephen Colbert Joke Prize.
The host said he wouldn't have been the third-most-trending person in Google searches this year "without the support of loyal viewers" like the president.
The president posted 160 times on Truth Social in one night, according to news reports. One host says his "thumbs were as swollen as his ankles."
"On Thanksgiving? Are you confusing that with Festivus?" Jon Stewart said of President Trump's Truth Social post insulting the Minnesota governor's intelligence.
The president spent so much time talking that Meyers thinks the turkeys would have preferred to be put out of their misery.
"We have nothing to hide," President Trump said about releasing the documents. Jimmy Kimmel shot back: "I have some bad news: There's no 'we.' It's just you, bro."
"The Daily Show" host Josh Johnson said the G.O.P.'s document release was no help to Trump: "They basically saw his grease fire and said, 'Let us add some water.'"
Josh Johnson said that Jeffrey Epstein's references to President Trump might not mean much: "Maybe the email was about how Trump never comes to his sex parties " rude."
"This seems like a bad idea. And if Black people could get loans, I'd be worried," Johnson said on "The Daily Show."
Stephen Colbert advised that anyone traveling for Thanksgiving "might want to leave now."
Republicans like President Trump, Stephen Miller and Elon Musk endorsed him ahead of New York City's mayoral election. Stephen Colbert referred to them as "everyone New Yorkers love."
"There were dancers, costumes and champagne " a wonderful celebration where the theme was apparently gross income inequality," Jon Stewart said.
Desi Lydic called the president's reception "a 'yes, king' rally for Trump."
"Wait a second, what's that in his stomach? It's the Epstein files!" the "Late Show" host said.
The president says he hasn't really thought about a third term. Meyers said that was "like James Cameron saying he hasn't thought about 'Avatar 4.'"
"That is it. We are not giving him the security deposit back," Stephen Colbert said about the president's building renovation plans.
Wealthy businesspeople who gave money to build a White House ballroom curried favor with the president, "just as our founding fathers intended," Jimmy Kimmel said.
"The Late Show" host called President Trump's photo the "worst Georgia O'Keeffe ever."
Jimmy Kimmel celebrated that President Trump "finally did something positive" with his role in the deal between Israel and Hamas.
The "Daily Show" host found comedic fodder in an Oval Office event about mining in Alaska, at which the president wound up talking about Sean Combs.
"Listen, we all do weird things when we're drunk, OK?" Chieng said. "Some of us slide into an ex's DMs, and some of us call every U.S. general to a meeting at Quantico."
